Craig looks at me in horror as I informed him that I accidentally, being in the exhausted state of mind I was in, booked the wrong hotel. I BOOKED THE WRONG HOTEL! Then I laugh and turn around and tell him I accidentally booked a 5 star hotel in the center of New Delhi. Craig almost passes out.
We wake up this morning, after a rather pleasant sleep from the exhaustion, only getting up occasionally to check the locks on the doors and feel around to make sure our stuff is still in the room. No time for a shower we just want to get the refund of our money and get out of there. We kept being held off on getting the refund and we knew that we were going to be ripped off of the 14,000 rupees we gave the clerk. Well, we managed to get 7,000 back. We were still ripped off but it was a small price to pay for saving our lives. Then we asked them to call a cab to get us to the center of town so we can “get to work.”
The cab arrives and asks us if we are going to the airport. Although we would love to, we are stuck in India. So we say near the India Gate and he probes us for the actual location. We tell him the hotel and ask him the price for the cab. He drops his jaw and gently puts a towel over the meter. He tells us 500 rupees which is 5x the price it should cost to get us there. It is still a small price to pay for a safe place. Then we are on our way again, into the crowed, cracked out, slummed out, dirty, dreadful, how-the-fuck-can-you-live, dead people on the side of the road streets of New Delhi. Now we are a bit more aware of the driving. There are lanes in the road but no one sees them, they just drive wherever and however they want honking away. It’s amazing that there are no collisions at all, simply amazing – and not a seatbelt to be found, only a rope that hangs inches from the car door that you don’t even want to lean against for fear someone will tear you out of the window and drag you down to their hell.
We eventually pull into the center of town and only a block from the hotel did the streets finally clear up into a semi-slum city. Before we pull through the gate we look and see all the ritzy cars in the driveway, and us, Craig and I in a beat down old cab, both looking like we crawled out of the gutter, which actually felt like we did. The three guards at the gate smile at us in the backseat and welcome us to India. It seems as though they are angels in white suits coming to take our hands but oh no, they are just looking for bombs. They ask to look in the car and then go around and demand to open the trunk. Craig jumps out to help them and when all is good we pass through the gates. We jump out of the car and don’t even tip the driver because we already gave him a hell of a tip with the charge he laid on us.
Walking up to the front door we are stopped and our luggage is sent through a scanning machine – the ones that are exactly like the airport security. Then we take everything out of our pockets because WE then have to go through a scanner, EXACTLY like the airport security! When all is clear, a bunch of beautiful Indian women come to escort us and everyone there is in shock by our disheveled look. We get to the front desk and I say that we have a reservation under my name. Craig thinks it’s hilarious because they keep calling him Mr.-my last name instead of his. We just go with it. They see that we are all paid and an Indian woman escorts us up to the room. This hotel is better than any hotel I have ever seen in my life.
Craig jokes that this country is crazy and the woman laughs as we take the elevator to the 3rd floor. He then begs me not to look into the huge walled mirror behind me and I gladly comply. She starts giving us the rundown explaining how our butler service – OUR BUTLER SERVICE – can get us anything we want and they will be at our door within 2 minutes of ringing – which they do and we have tried several times since then. Although all we want is a shower and real food. The only food we had was some unnamed soda and crackers from the last hostel. So we had our showers and ordered a big combo sushi meal, which was fantastic as we stare out the window into the forest beyond.
Time to explore – we have absolutely no idea what to do with ourselves because we just walked out of hell into a heaven we don’t think is actually real. We can see the pool from our room and Craig looks over thanking me for the wonderful fuck-up I made booking this hotel. So we grab books and make our way down to the pool – we are better looking than when we arrived. When we get there we see a sign that points to the second pool. Second pool? Well alright then! We make our way to the second pool – through a nice little sculpture garden and wow, a second pool which is by far more grand than the first. I go to rest enjoying the beautiful walled in pool area with the luscious green grass and India inspired steps.
After an hour or so of relaxing I notice that there are actually peacocks roaming around the pool – I honestly can say that this is a dream, it has to be, how can this not be? Well, Craig goes to find a bathroom but comes back within a minute laughing and telling me I have to see something. Every time he says “you have to see this” I know to get nervous. We walk into the building by the second pool and what do you know – a third pool! This one being a lap pool and it is completely deserted! First to the bathroom however, where of course the saunas are located and completed deserted as well.
Seven more days of this – seven more days… I have a 7 day vacation from work starting on Wednesday which leaves me plenty of time to soak in this myth, this dream, this horror I walked out of to be in a palace of some god. Now this blog is getting too long and the bill here is soaring, but let’s just worry about that later. Much, much later!
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